The Stalker Diaries Part 1

Here a few very recent text.

March 10th 6:09pm.

I miss you.. It sure is hard keeping a sense of adventure in my life without you around... i'm gonna have to start bullfighting or something to even come

Second text

close... Hope you're doing well... Keith

March 11 12:59 am

Here I am sitting here wondering if i should write I love you down but that probably goes without saying... There's gotta be a place for me in your life.

Second text

The times we had fun far out number the times we didn't... You'll find when we hang out. That I'm a changed man;;; Without you around I have realized how m

Third text

Much I'm missing out in life.. Let's put the past in the past. I'm sorry for the wrong I did you... Goodnight... Text me soon

March 13th 3:19am

I'm sittin here having fun fun fun im a bit fucked up damnit im sitting here and theres only one person missing.... I may not be the prettiest... I may no

Second text

t be the richest... I may not be the most talented but damnit im me fun as fuck loving caring free now I am me and me misses you damnit..

March 13th 3:52 am

I'd treat ya like the queen of my world.. You already are.. I'd treat you like the key to my dreams... i would treat you so good.. Because your the most

Second text.

Amazing person this ol sucker has ever met... Hands down a dreamchaser a free perfect soul... The most beautiful sight ive ever laid eyes... And if I ha

Third text

d the world. Id give it to you on a golden platter...

March 13th 4:04 am

Your prolly just gonna ignore me like ya always do... And thats fine because you're free and beautiful for it... But I want you to at least know that y

Second text

ou make me feel like this... I respect you though so no more tonight... goodnight

March 17th 8:06 pm.

After reading my status on myspace I guess, where I basically said stalkers are bitches. He's not my friend on there either and I don't really know how he reads this stuff. That's why he's a stalker you know.

I have a couple of corrections to add to your myspace status about me... Lol ur so predictable... Ok won't argue with the weirdo shit... I'm a lil out th

Second text

ere... I haven't benn a bitch in awhile I owe you that... I manned up quite a bit since you... I may have been a bitch when u knew me but ive never been l

Third text

ittle nething... So maybe next time u call me a bitch use the description dont wanna confuse any boys now do upi?. Hmm oh yeah I was sh

Fourth text

rooming and taking x at the same time when I texted u all that shit... I meant it... i was thinking you deserve an awesomely dudalicious guy like me... L

Fifth text

Ike you told me though... You only get what you deserve... So good luck with that... Cuz the way you treat this guy "me" who would change the w

6th text

orld for you.. Id figure you deserve a swift kick spartan style down a deep hole this is Sparta!!.... Grow up... Get a real man... Lo ya...... keith

March 17th 8:54 pm

I still fuckin' love you... Nothing you could ever say would make me think that you're not the best lady for me and im not the best guy for you... Ho b

Second Text

out them apples!

March 17th 10:11 pm

I'm sorry I was so disrespectful to you when we were hanging out... I had no idea how to act around someone as beautiful and talented as you.. I acted lik

Second Text

e afly on the wall.. I never said anything nice that I wanted to say to you... I was an insecure mess.. Now thanks to meeting you I actually have a shot

Third text

. A shot not only to be a man but be the man of my dreams... I love you for it... I'll leave you alone ... Too little too late for me I guess... But I do w

Fourth text

ish you the best in like.. No fuckin joke.. You are a one in a million person.. If I hadnt met you I wouldnt be half the man I am now.. You truly are ama

Fifth text

zing and any man worth his weight in gold would be lucky to have you.. I'm finished you dont have to hear from me again...

Now if only that were true and he would really go away. The thing is he's said that before. "I wont ever try to contact you again." Always so full of drama.

Here's a little back story. i meet 3 people one night at a bar. One was a guy named Matthew that I've dated off and on whatever. The second was Danielle, the silliest girl ever and my best friend that I adore. The third I didn't notice really and was Danielle ride, Mr. Keith Jones my future obsess. I didn't realize me just being there that night would lead to this or that he would in an instant think I was some sort of a goddess.

So this Keith continued to be around since he was my best friends ride. He bought drinks and whatever. Then when I lost my wheels he said he'd hang out and give me a ride where ever.

So I kinda knew he had a crush but I never thought it was this bad. Then one day he got pissed off a Bikini Lunge and threaten to leave Danielle and I there because I exchanged phone numbers with this guy. Anyway that was the end of the end. I was bad on the ride home and we had stopped for food. I got so mad at him and his craziness that I seem to finally notice that I threw my chicken sandwich at him and smeared it all over the windows.

I from there tried to be civil but the text and myspace messages were nuts. I delete him, blocked him and then he got a new profile to contact me from. It was nuts and lead to this amazing messages and 2 encounters at places he knew I would be at. The last was 1-6-10 at a Jake La Botz show at the Blooze where he came up behind me and whispered, "Thanks for everything.">




The first from a new profile because his other one I blocked on all Of my account, V Vintage, BobbySoxer and Rj Slade.

1/11/2010 12:59 AM

I am feeling happy and confident nowadays... I think meeting you has a lot to do with it.. I went crazy over you.. You're a pretty amazing lady.. I should have accepted you for who you were when I still had a chance to see you. I needed my ass handed to me.. I hurt myself pretty bad acting all crazy... You're too beautiful... Made my head all fuzzy... LoL I'm sure I'm not the first and I probably won't be the last to go nuts around you... I am sorry though.. I miss your company and how much fun I had working a room with you... I felt like a star being around you... I didn't want to lose that... I acted out like a little bitch instead of just being cool and enjoying the ride.... I've learned my lesson and a lot of stuff is turning around for me... Thank you.. I was a real rotten jerk to you when I didn't get my way and I want to apologize for that... I wish you the best and I hope you are doing well and all your dreams are coming true... You are a one in a billion person... A life changer.... Don't ever change...

Keith


Few Days later

1/15/2010 1:33 AM


You have my heart... My eyes may see a million women but my heart only sees you... I can't fight that... I promise that I won't show up to see you somewhere without being invited again... I only went there to see you.. You know how to find me if you want to.... You're free :) Keep chasing your dreams.. My thoughts of you will be thoughts of gratitude and good will.. If I hadn't met you I wouldn't have met me..
I Love You My Friend
Take Care
Keith




Here's a later he sent me back in September or October after reading my myspace that said I felt unloved or something. He thought he'd show me that somebody loved me by sending me a ton of poems he's written over the past 1 or 2 years.

Some Of The Words You Inspired From The First Moment I Met You To Today: An Invite To You Girl I Think I Met A Little Piece Of Heaven That I Would Like To Learn More About. The Problem Is I Don't Know If That Little Piece Of Heaven Is Smiling At Me Or Not. So I Give You This Little Invitation: GEORGE AND DRAGON North of Indian School On Central 9:00 pm Thursday October 11th Bring Your Best British Accent.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bittersweet Angel I Saw Her Lingering There Across The Dingy Bar I Saw Her Glance At Me Then Quickly Turn Away This Kept Up For A Little While Longer Till In My Heart I Started To Ponder If She Could Be The Red Head Of My Dreams So I Took A Little Shot Walked Over To Her Spot As I Was Just About To Speak Though She Turned Her Head To Look Away I Placed One Finger Under Her Chin Then She Turned Her Head Toward Me She Smiled Her Smile I Smiled Right Back Then I Told Her She Was Gorgeous Her Eyes Lit Up One Side Of Her Could See The Shining Star In Front Of Her The Sparkling Diamond Within Me We Are Standing There I Am Contemplating But Her And A Friend Make That Decision For Me They Run Off And Leave I Follow Quickly Behind My Friends Life I Worry For So I Go With The Time We Wind Up At A House On A Dark Poorly Lit Road I Walk In And Start Singing Then She Picks Up A Guitar Knocking On Heavens Door We Played Bob Dylan Would Have Given Us His Star I Sang Hard I Sang Free I Sang My Heart Out To This Beautiful Angel Playing For Me The Night Went On I Left In My Time I Left Her In The Night I Lost Her To My Mind I Found Her Once More Though It Was Not Quite The Same Her Eyes Had Changed Their Mind She Acted Like She Could Not See A Single Thing In Me I Have A Feeling Though A Feeling Deep Down Inside That I Will See This Angel Once More That She Will Appear Before My Eyes I May Be Wrong This Is A Theme I Have Kept Up With For Awhile Although I Would Give Anything To See That Smile That I Saw That Night In That Dingy Bar Where I Saw My Beautiful Angel Where She Saw Her Shining Star ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You Treat Me Like I Am Priceless Though You Are The Treasure From My Point Of View One Of The Kindest People I Have Ever Met The Way That You Care The Things That You Do You Are My Sister You Are My Love I Will Always Be There For You No Matter How Far I Have To Go I Will Try My Best To Make Sure That I Get Through You Smile At Me Like I Am Beautiful A Thought That Has Seldom Crossed My Mind I Wonder Sometimes What You See In Me As You Sit There And Gaze With Those Beautiful Eyes There Must Be A Different View A Different View Behind The Eyes Of A Diamond All I Can Say Is Thank You All I Can Do Is Hold Your Hand All I Can Make Is A Promise To Help You To Fulfill Your Dreams To Help You To Stand I Am Very Happy I Have You In My Life You Help Me To Help Myself As I Try To Be A Great Man The Great Man That You See In Me Thank You ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Burned Bridges Over Raging Waters I Do Not Know Why I Bother To Try And Pick Up The Pieces Of My Shattered Life To Try And Rebuild Past Memories Past Memories Of You And I My Hammer Is Splintered My Nails Are Few I Try My Best To Build I Try My Hardest To Reach You I Know I Burned Up Your Heart As I Lit The Fire With My Pain All Of My Anger Went Up In Smoke From That Point On Nothing Has Been The Same I Seek Another Bridge Over The Chasm I Search Till I Am Weak Till I Am Blind I Feel Around Through The Shadows Of My Heart For A Path That I May Never Find I Grasp At Air As You Slip Through My Fingers I Hold On To Memories Memories That Always Seem To Linger Always Longing For Redemption I Find Comfort In The Words Of My Pain All In An Attempt To Find An Answer All In An Attempt To Stay Sane I Fought Most Of My Demons Now I Try Not To Worry The Only Words I Have Left Are I Love You I Am Sorry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If I Told You That I Still Love You Would It Make You Change Your Mind? If I Told You That I Needed You Would You Save Me From This White Line? A Thousand Times I Have Told Myself I Am The Only One That I Need A Million Times I Have Wrecked Myself Over This Lonely Life That I Have Chosen To Lead You Are The Only One That I Have Longed For From The Moment That I Met You On That Cool October Night It Seems That I Have Been Done For From The Moment That You Left My Sight Whispers And Your Shadow Are All That I Have Left Of You Now All I Need To Do Is Stand Up Tall Without You Though, I Do Not Know How So I Sit Here And Write Lonely Words And Tears Flow From My Insight Am I A Lost Cause? Am I Just A Memory Lost To Times Cruel Grasp? Or Will You Give Me One Last Chance To Take Your Hand? Will You Let Me Show You What I Can Become, Once You Help Me To Stand? Until That Day If It Ever Comes I Will Just Be Content With Your Happiness For Mine Is Already Gone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Foolish Heart I Have Butterflies In My Stomach My Chest Is Caving In My Heart Is Almost Exposed To The World Oh, No! Not Again! I Have Told You A Thousand Times To Stay Inside If You Do Not Go Back To Where You Belong I Promise That We Both Will Die Go Ahead! Ask Stomach What Happens When You Are Exposed Stomach Get So Full That He Almost Explodes Go Ahead! Ask The Lungs What Happens When You Set Yourself Free The Lungs Get So Much Smoke That They Start To Suffocate Me Do You Want That To Happen Again? You Foolish Heart Do You Want To Kill Both Of Us? Do You Want Us To Trip And Fall Apart? So Go! Go Inside! Your Days Are Over You Have Made Us Waste So Much Time Chasing After Your Seven Leaf Clover Who Has Given You The Time To Show Your True Worth? Not A Soul Believes In You! Do You Not Know That This Is Our Curse? I Know... You Hope.. That This Is Not The End Of Our Endeavours Maybe We Are Destined To Be Alone Forever The Fire Inside You May Be Too Much For Others To Handle I Know... You Hold On... Because I Keep Getting Burnt By Your Candle Let The Grip You Have On My Reality Loosen Just A Little You Are Suffocating Me! It Is Time For You To Stop Looking For An Answer To Your Riddle Find Your Own Passions! Our Eyes Have No Strength Left To Search You Have Used Them Far Too Long! Now Their Feelings Have Been Hurt Our Eyes Had To See Her Turn And Walk Away Now She Is Stuck In Our Memories All Because You Had To Come Out And Play.. Stay Away From Our Lips They Have No Words Left To Speak For You Every Time You Have Made Them Kiss They Have Left Us Feeling Blue So My Heart Now You Know The Reasons Why I Am Telling You To Go Back Inside You Get Broken Every Time That You Try Trust Me This Time It Is Suicide Let Us Just Sit Back Together And Ponder What Life Would Be Like If We Were Another Let Us Forget All About Your Desires Your Safe Inside From Loves Cruel Fire Hold On To Me I Am All That You Have Got Try To Help Me To Move On I Know That That Is Asking A Lot Just Get Me Through One More Day Maybe Tomorrow Our Pain Will Finally Go Away Maybe Tomorrow We Will Wake Up To Find That Love Is Simply An Illusion And Everything Is Fine It Has Not Happened Yet..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She’s A Classic She Smiled And She Shined Her Light On Me She Is A Classic Symbol Of Pure Beauty Her Presence Makes All Of The Men Go Wild She Has The Curiosity Of A New Born Child She Is Wild And She Is Free She Has No Concept Of Conformity Her Hair Waves Like Fire As She Moves Through The Night Full Of Passion And Life She Will Put Up A Fight Show Her Your Heart She Will Stay For Awhile She May Leave You Tomorrow But She Will Leave You With A Smile Her Heart Is Meant To Fly Only Birds Of Her Feather Can Fly As High She Travels Down A Lonely Road Only She Can Tell Herself Where She Should Go I Am Just Lucky To Have Seen Her Along Her Way As She Walked By She Said: I Am Sorry, But I Can't Stay I Tried To Follow Her Then She Told Me To Stop She Said: Maybe The Next Time I'm Around I Will Stick Around To Talk Now I See That She Is On Her Way Down Her Path To Fortune And Fame She Took A Minute To Stop And Say Hi I Hope That This Time It Takes Longer For Her To Say Goodbye She Will Be Standing In The Spotlight I Have A Feeling That It Will Be So She Has The Fire Inside, I Can Tell Now She Is Ready To Make It Glow Here Is Where I Leave You Two More Lines Left To Free From The Shelter Of My Mind I Am Quite Happy To Know Her One Like Her Is Hard To Find ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Girl Story She's Not Allowed To Cry She Tells Me As Black Tears Roll Down Her Cheeks Let's Just Sit And Watch The Sunrise Please I Want To Get Lost In My Old Memories She Says That Her Family Has Lost Its Glory A Sad Story She Tells Through The Early Morning She Believes That Love Is All Made Up A Fake Emotion Used To Act Like You Give A Fuck About Another Soul The Endless Quest For Her Body Is All She's Ever Known Of Men Of Boys They're Only Toys To Her Now Beautiful Red Hair I Can't Help But Stare As She Says I'm Not Allowed To Look At Her Like That I Can't Help It My Eyes React To Damsels In Distress Her Hair's A Mess All I Can Do Is Smile And Try To Help Her To Relax Just Relax The Pain Will All Be Over Soon All She Has To Do Is Get Up And Move She Appears To Be Lost And Confused I Wish I Could Offer Her Up An Answer To Use To Set Her Free But She Can't Hear Me Through Her Tears Of Pain And Misery Drowning Out The Sorrow Is The Only Way She Breathes She Scoffs At Sympathy A Classic Beauty Lying On The Porch Beside Me Tears Flowing She Said That She's Not Allowed To Cry She's Not Allowed To Cry Go Ahead And Cry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Am Who I Am ....... I’m Sorry She Told Me In A Dream I Could Ruin It All With The Things I Say I Told Her To Her Face Maybe I'm Better Off This Way I'm A Fool For Not Speaking Up Sooner I'm A Fool For Speaking At All I Tried To Find A Way Out Of Me But I Was Trapped By My Heart's Spiked Walls I Let My Judgment Get The Best Of Me I Showed Everyone My Love Scorned Heart And Believe Me It Wasn't Pretty When My Self-Control Fell Apart If I Never Hear From Her Again I'll Understand Hell, I'm Probably Better Off This Way Living With The Pain Of Knowing That I Really Love Her Is Killing Me Because She Doesn't Feel The Same I Feel Like Nobody I Feel Like Nothing I Can't Figure Out How She Was Always In The Same Room With Me Without Her Feelings Being The Same I May Appear To Be Different Then That Other Guy The Only Difference Between Him And I Is That I'm After Her Heart And He Is After A Good Time She Needs To Do What She Wants To Do I Have Saved Enough People To Know My Heart Is True If I Can't Handle Being Around Someone I Adore Then This Is Best For The Both Of Us I'll Show Myself To The Door Goodbye I Do Love You ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Spoke Words That Cut Me Deep Over Someone I Knew I Would Lose If I Tried To Keep My Blood Drips Slowly From My Wound To The Ground I Try To Let Out A Whisper Though I Barely Make A Sound I Will Try To Smile But It Is Hard To Do When My World Is Caving In Losing Every Little Bit Of Comfort I Had Over My Lips Fatal Sins I Need To Open A Door Instead Of Using My Voice I Made It Much Easier For Her To Make Her God Given Choice I May Try To Fix Things But Things May Be Too Hard To Fix This Time I Fell Down A Steep Sandy Mountain And I Do Not Have Any Strength Left To Climb I Lost Most Of My Vision To Envy I Lost All Of My Hopes For A Brighter Tomorrow I Knew My Mouth Would Be The End Of Me I Think I May Want God To Take Back The Time That I Have Borrowed Moments Of Pain Shroud Any Thought That Could Set Me Free I Let Them Flow Out Sometimes As I Turn Around To Flee I Wander Through The Shadows Searching For My Key I Look Around As Everyone Gets A Turn Everyone Except For Me I Have Always Been Picked Last From Elementary To Today Though I Was The Only One To Ever Come Through I Wonder If I Am Still That Way I Will Break My Heart Into Smaller Pieces So That You Can Fit It Better Into My Grave I Want To Tell You My Only Wish Is To Be Born Into A Life Worthy Of Being Saved I Have Words For Those In Need My Answers Are Scattered And Strewn About I Get Bandages For Those Who Bleed Though A Cure For Myself I Seem To Be Without My Words Of Wisdom Fall On Deaf Ears My Promises I Take To Heart I Have Realized That I Am Living Inside Of My Darkest Fears The Pieces Of Happiness Left In My Life I Have Ripped And Torn Apart Shadows Of Terror From My Melancholy Past Have Adorned Me With A Wound And A Porcelain Mask Please Do Not Try To Love Me If You Want To See My True Face I Never Remove My Mask For My Flesh Is Rotting Beneath I Have Poisoned Every Watering Hole Before I Have Taken A Drink I Try To Kill Time Wasting Time But All I Do Is Sit And Think I Think Of My Soul Being In The Shell Of Someone Else Without The Torment Of My Esteem I Could Be Set In Material Wealth I Have Fought In Vain Over Grains Of Sand A Foggy Illusion I Am Waking Up From I Think I Have Finally Found A Reason To Stand From Now On I Am My Only One I Will Forget All The Reasons I Will Close All The Doors I Will Move On Into The Distance God I Hope There Is Something More ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My End In Her Story Her Tears Run In Black Tracks Down Her Face She Runs To Him To Save His Life Leaving Herself Behind In Disgrace The Blood That Runs Is His Alone He Puts It On Her So She Has To Go She Sets True Love Upon A Shelf He Is A Lost Puppy With Little Sense Of Himself She Knows That She Deserves Better But Her Heart Always Gets In The Way She Would Rather Give Away Herself Then Make Him Have To Pay His Misdeeds Will Now Catch Up With Both Of Them Someday I Give Her A Smile As She Walks Away Hand In Hand With Her Demise I Think That It Is Too Late To Save Her For My Own Her Actions Are Hers To Act On Alone I Attempt To Call Her But I Can't Bring Myself To Move Past The Tone I Dial My Heart Up Instead And I Tune In To My Soul She Is Not Mine I'm Getting Too Old I'm Growing Too Cold She Doesn't Want To Be Bought She's Already Been Sold Or She's Up For Auction And She's Ready To Go She Doesn't Want Me To Win Her This I Think I Know My Past Has Decided My Fate Thus Far For Now I Guess I'll Wish On A Star I Wish That Someday A Love Will Come Around Made For Me To Hold I Hope That I'm Not Too Old I Hope I Have Some Strength Left To Be Bold I'm Growing So Cold I'm So Cold I'm Cold ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Question Not Answered Drudging Through The Deepest Depths Of My Darkness The Light Inside Is There But It Is Somehow Forgotten Shadows Of Memories Shroud My Desires I Wonder If I Should Save Myself Or If I Should Throw Myself Into The Fire I Bleed Through My Eyes When The Emotions Are Overwhelming My Soul Is For The Taking Or Maybe Just For The Killing It Is A Stark Reality When You Wake Up Alone Knowing Your The Only One To Greet You As You Walk Into Your Home Wishing For Love Has Kept Me On My Own Alone Seeking Perfection Within And Without I Want To Live My Dreams But I Have Far Too Much Doubt It Is True Loneliness Can Ruin Your Life A Reason To Live Gets Harder To Find I Need To Find My Reason I Need To Find My Reason Or I Will Die Alone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.. Smile For Me Smile Know That You Are Beautiful Smile I Know That She Had To Go Smile I Will Pick Up The Pieces Of My Broken Life Smile I Can Not Let Her Know That I Am Falling Apart Smile All Of The Pain Will Disappear In Time Smile Love Is Simply A State Of Mind Smile I Would Give Anything To Hold Her Smile I Know That I Am Cursed Smile Do Not Be Sad Smile Even Though You Feel So Bad Smile Dreams Are Not Always Easy To Follow Smile Or You Will Stay Trapped In Sorrow Smile Nobody Can Choose Your Path Except For You Smile Know That I Would Have Chosen You Your Smile Leaves Me Speechless ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then I Smile It's Getting Close Enough For Me To See It I May Have Finally Found A Truth To Believe In The Silence Is Overcome With Laughter A Small Child Shows Me All That Really Matters I Have Learned How To Harness A Smile In The Darkest Of Times I Jostle The Memories From The Deepest Depths Of My Mind My Existence Breathes A Sigh Of Relief As I Let The Pain Pass Me By I Am The Only One Allowed To Live My Life The Shadows Of The Past Still Haunt Me Though They Have Changed From Black To White The Memories They Served Me Well While I Struggled To Keep Myself Alive I Still Long For One Beautiful Night Where Everything Goes Right I Sing My Song You Smile Your Smile We Dance Our Dance Then We Both Get High For Awhile I Hold You In My Arms Then I Smile ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Burned Star If I Had It To Do Over Again I Would Do It The Dance Had To End Sometime And I Knew It Stars Burn Out Alone In The Galaxy I Place Far Too Much Of My Faith In Dreams And Fantasies I Watch You Laugh And Toss Back Your Hair You Smile At Me Completely Unaware Of The Feelings That I Hold Inside I Want To Hold You But I Only Manage To Hide From The Fool Within My Heart Fairy Tale Love Is What He Is Looking For He Can't Seem To Focus Anymore On Anything Right All Alone Again At The End Of The Night All Alone Again Without Love In My Life I Plea To The Gods Of My Affliction Please Come And Save Me From My Harmful Addiction! I Am Addicted To Rejection This Seems To Be My Life's Lesson To Be On My Own Without Any Blessings To Give Without Receiving To Rest Alone For Eternity This Star Burns Forever ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emotions Build Up Then Get Silenced Anxiety Unleashes Itself Through Violence Anger Envy Jealousy Greed All Monsters That Love To Feed On Shallow Souls Dig Deep Enough And You'll Know The Meaning Here Even A Little Fear Can Kill You Inside Don't Ever Take That Loveless Ride Like I Did Like I Do Sometimes When I Wish I Had A Love Like You Like Me? My Life Is A Harsh Reality Knowing The Only Place For Me To Go Is Up Or To My Grave I Still Misbehave I Run In Circles Around My Life Over And Over Again I Give Myself Away To False Sacrifices My Life Is Not Nice Though I May Be Kind I Wish My Life Had A Button That Said Rewind Don't Say What You Said Don't Do What You Did Yeah Those Buttons Would Fit Right In The Remote For My Life efiL yM roF etomeR ehT Would Be Stuck In Rewind Or In Fast Foreward So I Can See The Light That I'm Walking Toward I Need To Pick Up The Pace Before I End Up In A Mental Ward Ha Ha I Giggle Keith And I Locked In A Room Together We Would Kill Each Other Like We Already Are Alone And Apart From Anything Real My Friends Guide Me Through My Hell So That I May See Heaven Someday I Hope To Be Given A Shiny Bright Star And A Ribbon Saying "You Made It Son Now You're Forgiven" "Your Life Was Good Living" A Good Story To Tell On Long Nights When They Are Lonely Who I Ask? Anyone That's Up To The Task Of Setting You Free After All All We Are Are Memories Just Memories Not The Body That We Are In Not The Job Where We Go To Pretend That We Are Something More Than Our Memories Wanna Make Some Great Memories With Me? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So Many Thoughts Lay Their Path Through My Mind Why Am I Here? Who Made My Time? Why Do I Feel A Little More Comfort Every Time I Put Down A Line? I Let It All Out No Matter How Crazy It May Appear To Be It May Seem Like An Awful Waste But It Is No Waste Of Time For Me I Put Myself Out There For All Of You To Read In An Attempt To Find My Hearts True Path Along My Way I May Try To Plant A Few Seeds I Show You What The World Has Shown To Me At Times You May Want To Turn Away Some Things May Be To Much For You To Handle When For Me It's Just Another Day I Hope You All Enjoy Please Don't Try To Be Like Me One Day I May Be Free Inside Of My Heart Trust Me Though There Was Hell To Pay I Have Friends Who I Hold Close They Are Never Far From My Mind Day In And Day Out I Think Of Them Even When I Can't Give Them Much Of My Time I Have Family Who I Shelter From The Cold I Have Family Who I Love From A Distance I May Be Here And Not There At Times It Is Because I'm Going Down A Path Of Much Resistance I Write Lonely Words To The World My Tears Translate To Black And White On The Screen At Times I Am Full Of Passion For Change Sometimes I Am Just Hurt And I Can Get A Little Mean I Live In A Dream Don't Be Fooled It Can be A Nightmare At Times Changing My Emotions Into Words Keeps Me Stuck In A Constant Rhyme So Please Stick Around Let's All See If My Life Can Be Saved Who Knows? You May Be Following Me To My Paradise The Logical Chances Are Though You'll Be Following Me To My Grave ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If One Dream Could Come True For Me Then I Could Have All Of My Dreams Silently Speaking Words Without Sound You Let Me Know You Are Still Around I See You Looking My Way Sometimes Playing Our Song And Reading My Little Rhymes I Appreciate The Little Glances A Warm Touch From You.. What Are My Chances? I Can Send You My Love I Can Show You I Care All That Really Matters Though Is That You Are Happy... No Matter What... No Matter Where You May Think That I Am Crazy I Think I Would Be Crazy If I Lied There Is Something About Your Soul That Has Got Me Roped And Tied I Wake Up Some Mornings Even After Such A Long, Long Night With Your Face In My Head With Your Voice In My Mind I Sit Often In Lonesome Contemplation Staring Down Upon My Hearts Biggest Sacrifice The Pain I Have Gone Through To Change All In The Hope That You May Think Twice I Whisper To You Softly Now From Across This Sun Scorched Place I Speak So That My Words May Reach Your Ears In Hopes That I May Again See Your Breathtaking Face So If You Have The Strength To Give This Old Fool Another Try I Promise You This Time Around Tears Of Joy Will Be The Only Tears That You Will Ever Cry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Home Is Far From My Sight I Woke Up With Someone New On My Mind Oh How Weird I Forgot How This Feels A Mixture Of Wonder And Curiosity A Heart Full Of Meaning And Philosophy A Soul Floating Above The Surface Of Reality True Hospitality She’s Also A Little Dirty Mind Officially Blown An Explosion Underwater My Rockets Ignite Burn White Hot Phosphorus I Cool Down My Jets As My Head Breaks The Surface I Just Want To Sit Back For A Moment And Observe This Beauty I See Beauty I Am Missing Within Me Maybe My Key? I Drive The Thought Far From Mind I Leave It Here In Words One Line At A Time Kind Divine Sublime An Angel With Black Wings My Specialty I See A Match That Can Light The Fire Inside Of Me I Can Already Feel It Starting Hot Breath With A Simple Thought Nice And Hot I Could Melt Down My Mountain With This Fire Before I Tire I Smile There Is Some Satisfaction From A Bold Statement To A Shocked Reaction A Strong Attraction To A Soul And A Body A Heaven Sent Angel That Likes To Get A Little Naughty Yum Let’s Party Go Clubbin’ Start Rubbin’ Start Fallin’ I Pick It All Up And I Bring Myself Back To Reality I Take A Deep Breath Before I Realize The Water Is Now Far Below Me Flowing Faces From My Past Have No Strength Left To Haunt Me Just A Sea Just A Sea I’ll Just Have To Wait And See ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Swimming In The World (3-25-2008) I Leap Out Of The Dark Waters Of Existence I Can’t Remain Above For Long With My Level Of Persistence Like A Dolphin I Take A Deep Breath Before I Splash Down As I Break Through The Surface There Are Sharks All Around Their Teeth Shred My Skin As Blood Pours Out Of My Wounds From Within I’ve Chummed My Own Waters Fear Not My Good Friend A Shadow Is Left In The Place Of My Destiny All Because I Let The Waves Over Come Me Waves Of Fear Waves Of Loss Waves Of Love Waves Of Lust I Guess I’ll Do What I Must I Won’t Cause A Fuss I Know.. Isn’t This Ridiculous? I Try I Die A Little More Each Time I I Bet You Thought I Would Say Cry Not I But I Do Die A Little More Inside Every Time I Take Refuge In The Shelter Of My Mind It’s Then That I Get High I Let All My Pain Fade Away With The Time I Take Another Toke Or I Blow Another Line It’s All Well And Fine Till I Lose The Will To Keep Up With My Rhymes A Blasphemy Sets Itself Before Me An Abomination Of A Life Is Where It Will Lead My Hunger It Feeds As It Sacrifices My Dreams All For One Night Without The Unbearable Pain Of My Emotions Set In Motion By Calamity And Commotion Sickly Perverted Is The Truth As I’ve Heard It Coming From The Mouths Of The Angels The Sinners Aren’t The Only Ones Who Strangle The Life Out Of Me As I Try To Break Free Even The Ones I Love The Most Are Like Poison To Me Or The Antidote So I Wrote The True Feelings Withing My Breast Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful The Surface Doesn’t Matter Much When You’re In Tune With Your Soul I Know That I Can Act Like A Fool I Have Emotional Scars That I’ve Built Up Since Grade School I’m Finally Learning My Lessons Were Taught The Pages Are Burning Am I Finally Turning? A Light On Inside Of My Head My Body May Be Moving But My Soul Has Turned Up Dead Cynical Outlooks Of Life From My Bed I’m Better Than This Or So She Has Said Goodbye To Me Because Of My Ways She Ran Away While I Tried To Stay It’s Funny I Learn All Of My Lessons This Way..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Am Dead Tired So I Just Want To Bitch A Little I Have Picked Up My Life Now I Hope That I Don't Have To Settle For Anything Less Than My Hearts Own Desire I Need A Strong Spark To Light This Blazing Fire An Inferno Oh, No! Where Did She Go? I Can't Seem To Find Her Anymore Her Eyes Have Lost The Sparkle That They Had Once Before Toward Me I Teetered But I Didn't Fall Down I Flinched But I Whiped Away My Frown All This Man Really Wants Is For His True Love To Come Around I Struggle To Break Away From Insanities Cruel Grasp Why Haven't I Found Her?.... I Know Now That I Can Make It Last I Have Grown Through Time Through Pain Through Love I Have Learned Of Wisdom And Its Ways I Have Read From Its Fiery Pages I Can Hear The Voices Of The Sages Telling Me To Move Along Telling Me To Stay Strong I Have Never Had A Love For Long Only For A Lust Filled Song I Think That I May Have Found Her Sometimes You Know The One That I Was Talking About On The Previous Lines They Are Very Few And Far Between There Is Something In Her Eyes And The Way Her Soul Gives How Beautiful Is All I Can Think To Write Down How Beautiful Her Eyes How Beautiful Her Skin How Beautiful Her Smile How Beautiful Her Soul How Beautiful Her Hair How Beautiful Her Loving Nature How Beautiful Her How Beautiful So Beautiful ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Locked Up Within Me(5-14-2008) Inspired Words Flow From My Mouth Sometimes From Within Sometimes From Without Without A Doubt In My Head I'm Missing Out On Love Based On The Life That I Choose To Live Dreaming Giving Living Wondering Wandering Around This Dead City Alone I Laugh As I Stare At My Phone Wishing That It Would Ring The Voice On The Other End Is Seldom Who I Want It To Be I Want To Speak To My Key If She Is Out There If I Can Break Out Of My Fear No More Tears Are Left For Me To Cry My Eyes Have Ran Themselves Dry Over My Insecurities From A Flawed Perception Of My Reality About Me Always About Me Arrogance Shrouds My Words With A Cloth Of Pain And Envy Caused By The Love Of One Girl My World Comes Crashing Down Everytime I Trade My Smile In For A Frown I'm A Clown Here For Your Amusment Throw Me A Little Piece Of Life If You Think That I Deserve It Or Keep Me Feeling Blue I Know It's Not Only Up To You To Do To Be The One Who Sets Me Free From My Bonds Of Frustration From The Misery That I Continue Making I'm Not Kidding When I Say She Is Stunning Mind Blowing Overwhelming To My Senses I Begin To Sweat In Her Presence The Pheromones In The Air The Smell Of Flowers Coming From Her Hair Or Her Sweat One Thing That I'll Never Forget Is Her Eyes The Surprise When I Say I Have Seen Enough Of Her For One Life I Am Always Lying When Those Words Leave My Lips I Never Forget The Mistakes That I Have Made Along My Way Far Way From My True Home A House In The Hills Is Where I Belong After I Find My Song I Will Be There Or I Will Be Here Maybe I'm Not As Talented As I Think Myself To Be There Are People Who Can Hold A Tune Better Than Me Though I Sing In Key My Voice Empties Itself Into The Sea Of Faces In The Crowd The Applause Grows So Loud I Can't Believe That I Am Standing Here All Alone In A Spotlight Tonight Be My Fan Help Me To Understand The Reasons Behind My Pain Please Remain Silent For A Moment I Need To Find The Right Note Before I Blow It All Up In Smoke I Know It I Dream Too Much It Shows I Know This This I Know There Is No Other Place For My Mind To Go ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ballad Of A Lonely Dreamer(12-16-2007) Category: Music She Screamed Out Into The Darkness Asking For Some Real Love He Reached Down Into The Depths Of Her Despair He Gave Her All The Answers She Was Seeking Then She Turned Away And Left Him Standing There A Lonely Dreamer A Love Scorned Passion Rests Behind His Eyes A Loveless Lover Hiding Behind The Shield Of Societies Shallow Lies In A Moment Of Hesitation She Lost The Dreamer To The Night She Passed Him Up For A Stranger Her Love Faded Into Lust That Night The Dreamer Goes Home Alone A Calm Numb Takes Its Familiar Place He Thought She Might Be The One This Time Instead She Was Just Another Pretty Face The Lover Goes Home Hand In Hand With The Longing Of Her Superficial Dreams She Surrenders Herself To His Mercy In The Morning He Quietly Sneaks Out To Leave A Lonely Dreamer A Love Scorned Passion Rests Behind His Eyes A Loveless Lover Hiding Behind The Shield Of Societies Shallow Lies In A Moment Of Hesitation She Lost The Dreamer To The Night She Passed Him Up For A Stranger Her Love Faded Into Lust That Night The Lonely Dreamer Kept On Dreaming The Loveless Lover Kept On Searching The Answers To Their Questions Were Answered Through Their Burning Now The Lonely Dreamer Is Standing There Alone On A Stage With His Name Up In Lights A Familiar Face Catches His Attention The Loveless Lover Is In The Crowd Tonight A Lonely Dreamer A Love Scorned Passion Rests Behind His Eyes A Loveless Lover Hiding Behind The Shield Of Societies Shallow Lies In A Moment Of Hesitation She Lost The Dreamer To The Night She Passed Him Up For A Stranger She Lost Her Dreams That Night ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I pronoun Used to refer to oneself as speaker or Writer noun The self; the ego Care noun 1. A burdened state of mind; worry 2. Mental suffering; grief 3. An object or source of attention or solicitude verb 1. To be concerned or interested 2. To provide assistance 3. To object or mind About adverb 1. Approximately 2. Almost 3. To a reversed position: Turned about 4. All Around 5. In the vicinity preposition 1. On all sides of 2. In the vicinity of 3. Relating to; concerning 4. On the point of: About to go You pronoun The one or ones being addressed: Is that you? I pronoun Used to refer to oneself as speaker or Writer noun The self; the ego Love noun 1. Deep affection and warm feeling for another 2. A beloved person 3. A strong fondness or enthusiasm 4. A zero score in tennis verb 1. To feel love(for) 2. To like or desire enthusiastically You pronoun The one or ones being addressed: Is that you? I pronoun Used to refer to oneself as speaker or Writer noun The self; the ego Search verb 1. To make a thorough examination of in order to find something; explore 2. To look into or investigate; probe: Search one's conscience My adjective The possessive form of I World noun 1. The earth 2. The universe 3. The earth with its inhabitants 4. The human race 5. The public 6. A specified part of the earth 7. A realm or domain 8. A sphere of human activity or interest 9. A particular way of life 10. Secular life and its concerns 11. A large amount 12. A celestial body such as a planet For preposition 1a. Used to indicate the object or purpose of an action 1b. Used to indicate a destination 2a. On behalf of: spoke for us all 2b. In favor of: I'm for the proposal 3a. As equivalent or equal to: word for word 3b. As Against: two steps back for one step forward 4. Used to indicate amount, extent or duration 5. As being: mistook me for the boss 6. As a result of: jumped for joy 7. Used to indicate appropriateness or suitability 8. Not withstanding; despite: 9. Considering the nature of: was spry for his age 10. In honor of: named for her A noun; plural 1. The first letter of the English alphabet 2. The first in a series 3. The best in quality or rank 4. The sixth tone in a scale of C major 5. A type of blood in the ABO system 6. One: a region; a person 7. Any: not a drop to drink Love noun 1. Deep affection and warm feeling for another 2. A beloved person 3. A strong fondness or enthusiasm 4. A zero score in tennis Similar adjective Related in appearance or nature; alike though not identical To preposition 1. In direction toward 2. Reaching as far as 3. Toward or reaching a given state 4. In contact with;against: cheek to cheek 5. In front of: face to face 6. For or of: the top to the jar 7. In a relation with: parallel to the road 8. As compared with: a book superior to his others The 1. Used before singular or plural nouns and noun phrases that denote particular, specified persons or things 2. Used before a noun or an adjective with generic force. Love noun 1. Deep affection and warm feeling for another 2. A beloved person 3. A strong fondness or enthusiasm 4. A zero score in tennis You pronoun The one or ones being addressed: Is that you? Possess verb 1. To have as property; owned 2. To have as an attribute 3. To exert influence or control over; dominate You pronoun The one or ones being addressed: Is that you? Hold verb 1. To have in one's grasp 2. To support; keep up 3. To retain the attention of 4. To contain 5. To have in one's possession 6. To maintain control over 7. To maintain in a given condition or situation 8. To restrain; curb 9. To stop or delay 10. To regard or consider 11. To withstand pressure or stress 12. To continue in a given direction 13. To be valid or true The 1. Used before singular or plural nouns and noun phrases that denote particular, specified persons or things 2. Used before a noun or an adjective with generic force. Key noun 1. A means of access, control or possession 2. A crucial element 3. To regulate the pitch of 4. To bring into harmony; adjust or adapt To preposition 1. In direction toward 2. Reaching as far as 3. Toward or reaching a given state 4. In contact with;against: cheek to cheek 5. In front of: face to face 6. For or of: the top to the jar 7. In a relation with: parallel to the road 8. As compared with: a book superior to his others My adjective The possessive form of I Dreams noun 1. A series or images, ideas, emotions and sensations occurring during sleep. 2. A wild fancy or hope 3. An ambition; aspiration 4. One that is exceptionally gratifying, excellent or beautiful I pronoun Used to refer to oneself as speaker or Writer noun The self; the ego Miss verb 1. To fail to hit, reach, catch, meet or make contact with 2. To fail to perceive or understand 3. To fail to achieve or attain 4. To discover or feel the absence of You pronoun The one or ones being addressed: Is that you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Am Your Driver It's Amazing Where Sitting For Hours In Silence Can Take You Soul Reflection Is Mans Greatest Virtue I Know Now Why Time Stopped When You First Caught My Eye When I Am Near You My Soul Begins To Fly I Take Off Like A Rocket Into The Night I Lift Out Of My Pool Of Sorrow Like A Dolphin Taking Flight When We Are Apart It's Back To The Same Old Life I Wish That I Could Hold On To That Feeling And Store It Up Inside You Are An Amazing Friend And We Are On A Special Ride You Don't Have To Tease Me Or Lead Me On To Get Me To Share With You The Green Fields Where I Run You Don't Have To Hide What You Don't Want Me To See I'm So Lost In Fantasy That I Hardly Have Time To Perceive I Beg You Please...Show Me What I Can Become You Can Scare Me A Little ... I Promise That I Won't Run I Can Bring Out The Best In You Hun As Much As You Can Bring Out The Best In Me If We Are Lucky Time Will See Us Leading Each Other Up A Hill On The Mountains Of Our Dreams Having You In My Life In Any Way Makes Me A Better Person ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Be Good With Your Life To Feel That Kind Of Pain It Was Amazing To Know That I Am Still Alive To Know That I Still Have A Heart Beating Deep Inside It Was An Exhilarating Rush From Pain That Was A Must I'm Sorry That I Lied To You For So Very Long I Just Held On To Hope That You'd Always Be Around The Dizzying Flurry Of Blood Boiling Passion The Fever That Rose Controlled By Reaction All As I Watched You Begin Slipping Away From My Eyes I Have To Say Goodbye To Save My Own Life I Do Love You Be Good With Your Life ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Old Man Russ Tonight I Met An Old Man Named Russ... A Smaller Man Around Sixty With A Weather Worn Face And One Eye Wearing A Faded Blue Tgi Fridays Hat, Dark Blue Sports Coat With An Over Sized White Dress Shirt, Blue Jeans And Flip Flops. On My Way Out Of Circle K, Russ Asks: How's It Going? I Replied... Better Then Yesterday, Not As Good As Tomorrow.. Russ Approaches Me... I Reach Into My Pocket... Instead Of A Needy Hand I Am Met With A Smile And A Story... Russ Tilts His Head Back Deep In Memory Of A Near Forgotten Time... You Remind Me Of An Old Friend Of Mine....Ted.... Ted Was A Stupid Fuck Got Hit By A Train Back In New Hampshire. After A Few Mind Rattling Moments The Old Mans Eyes Begin To Well Up... If I Hadn't Known Ted I Would Have Never Met Her...The Old Man Stutters Out.. Boy She Could Light Up A Motherfucking Room I Tell You.. You Could Be The Sorriest, Saddest, Most Miserable Motherfucker On The Face Of The Earth But When She Walked In You Felt Like King Of The Fucking World... Invincible I Tell Ya!! I Knew I Wanted To Marry Her...... She Died Three Years Ago... I Miss Her ... We Used To Live Over There On 43rd N' Glendale... Near The End She Was In A Wheel Chair And I Tell Ya This...She Could Still Light Up A Motherfucking Room... I Shook The Old Mans Hand And Thanked Him For The Story... He Smiled And Told Me To Take Care, Never Once Asking For A Penny. You Will Be Remembered Russ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Someday Broken Grace We Erase Everything All In Vain Promise Me I Won't Die I'll Hold You Close You Will Be My Only One Forever Young At Heart Forever Alone At Heart Promise Me Everything We'll Live In Vain Then We'll Stay Sane I Know You Everything We Arranged Rearranged Run Around Merrily Look At Me I'm A Star I'm A Star Please Don't Run Away Please Say You May Like To Stay Awhile Promise Me Everything Live With Me Feel No Pain While You Sleep I Stay Awake Watching You Tenderly Now I Must Go It's Been Too Long Standing Here Without You On My Arm Promise Me You Won't Die I Hope To See You Again Someday ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It May Be Me Or My Life It Seems I Breathe When I See A Starving Part Of Me Smile As If You Really Believe That There Is Still A Heart Left To Bleed I Starve The Intentions I Mask My Inhibitions I Can Heal Your Deep Afflictions I Am The Cure For Your Addictions I Am The Monster In Your Head I Am The Prince Within Your Bed I Am The Yeast Inside Of Your Bread I Am Everything That You Said I Break Down And I Stumble I Lie Down And I Mumble I Lost A Thought As I Fumbled I Had A Little Pride Left Until I Was Humbled I Turned Around And I Cried I Thought That I Saw A Love Worth Giving My Life I Know No Greater Fool Then I I Will Keep Believing In True Love Until The Day That I Die I Smile In The Shade Of My Shadow I Stare Out Of The Pock Marked Window I Am Searching For The Right Path To Follow I Would Really Love To See Her Tomorrow I Stop And I Cease To Worry My Heart Is A Little Heavy And My Sight A Little Blurry I Should Have Had Some Patients But I'm Always In A Hurry All That I Really Know Is That I'm Really Sorry I Walk A Dangerous Trail My Eyes Darken And My Skin Begins To Pale My Time Around Here Is Beginning To Get A Little Stale I Hope That This Life Isn't The All That There Is To My Tale ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One For You RJ I Only Get What I Give.... I Deserved Every Word You Typed I Am Not A Crazy Bitch Ass Stalker Thought I Was Acting The Part Until You Gave Me Back A Taste Of What I Was Dishing Out I Didn't Realize What I Was Doing... The Venting I Did Through My Blogs Was Pure Hatred Flowing Out From My Own Self-inflicted Pain.... I Am Sorry That I Wrote Things That Completely And Directly Were Meant To Hurt You You Did Not Deserve That In The Least.. The Things That I Wrote I Did Not Believe I Was Just Blaming You For My Pain I Know You.......... I Know That You Are None Of The Fucked Up Things I Said That You Were... I Have Used The Same Pretty Boy Defense Mechanism To Cover Up The True Problem Which Is My Soul Is Out Of Whack And I Need To Fix It.. You Have Let Me Know What You Think And I Respect Any Choice You Make... I Am Only Writing This As An Apology For The Rotten Things I Was Typing And The Rotten Way I Was Acting Toward You... I Was Completely Selfish In My Heart.... I Am Not Asking You To Hang Out Or Forgive Me..... In All Honesty I Don't Think I Can Trust Myself Not To Act The Same Way Again.. You're A Strong Emotion To Me In All Honesty I Have Never Meant You Any Harm.... I Have Only Cared About You I Just Was Fucked Up When It Came To How I Went About Caring....And The Words That I Typed/Spoke Weren't As Beautiful As I Had Touted.... They Were The Exact Opposite.. I Only Showed You Hate.... When All I Ever Wanted To Give You Was Love.... I Apologize ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Secrets Of Love Forged By My Fire I've Never Been Given Love I've Only Once Accepted Love I've Been Lost In Lust I've Been Completely Alone I've Only Wanted To Show Love I've Never Been Comfortable Recieving Love I've Never Been Inside Of Love I've Only Ever Dreamed Of Love I Don't Know If I'll Ever Understand Love I've Only Ever Wanted To Give Love To A Select Few I've Never Confused Lust With Love I've Only Been Lovingly Touched On A Few Occasions I've Been Touched By Lust Many More Times Then That I've Always Been Curious About Love I've Always Felt Alone I've Been Shown By The Universe Just How Alone I Truly Am I've Spent Countless Hours On End In Silence Running Love Through My Mind I've Always Wanted A Fairytale Love I've Always Longed For The Dream Life To Go With It I've Yet To Find A Two Way Street In The Love District I've Tried To Understand Love By Showing Love I've Always Broken My Own Heart Before They Get The Chance I Had My Heart Shattered Nine Years Ago When Every Rock That I Had In My Life Died I've Been Fighting Ever Since To Piece My Heart Back Together In A Beautiful Form I Think Those Few That I've Adored Have Had Something In Them That I'm Missing I Feel If I Could Hold It I Could Stand On Top Of The World I Guess That's What They Mean By Feeling Complete The Only Way You Can Drive On The Street Of Love Is When It's A Two Way Street ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It Sometimes Takes Some Time To Blow It It Simply Takes A Loving Light To Show It It Only Takes A Little Love To Know It Plant It Within Me And I Will Grow It I Smile Vacant In A Stone Cold Vacuum I Have Good Intentions Masked By A Tattoo Breathe Into Me If That Is All That You Can Do I Want You To Hear Me Someday Say "I Thank You" Take A Deep Breath With Me Let Us Take A Chance And Plunge Into My Sea Who Knows Who Or What Will Lead Me To My Dream I Can Tell You That My Time Is Precious Let Me Know If You Agree Smile From Within The Crowd Of Faces Come With Me And We Will Survive Throughout The Ages Drown Out The Doubt Using Your Finest Graces Drink It Down Right So You Know What Good Taste Is Listen To The Echos Of The World Going Round Blink Out Of Existence To The Soothing Sound Break Out Of The Chains Before You Are Found Stand Up Proud Then Climb Up High On Your Mound Lean Into The Soul Of Your Heart Listen Closely And You Can Hear True Love Begin To Start Unravel The Mystery Of Her Words As You Tear It All Apart Bleed Yourself Dry Before You Place On Her A Mark Shine In The Pit Of Your Despair When She Tosses You Down A Rope Don't Ask Her To Climb Down There Go Up To Join Her And Breathe In The Fresh Air A Smile On Your Face Is The Only Makeup That You Have To Wear Believe In Me And I Can Show You The World Help Me Believe In Myself And I Will Make You One Happy Girl Listen To My Whispers Then Wait For The Rest To Unfurl Like I Said Before The Race Always Goes To The Turtle ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Am The Man You Have Been Looking For From The Time Your Eyes Were New I Am The Man You Have Been Looking For From The First Fairy Tale Ever Read To You I Am The Man You Have Been Looking For You Are The Woman Of My Dreams A Dream That I Can Hardly Believe You Are The Woman Of My Dreams The One From The Songs That I Love To Sing You Are The Woman Of My Dreams Ours Is A Strange Love Indeed We Know We Have The Power Once We Learn To See Ours Is A Strange Love Indeed I See That You Are Different Than You Let Everyone Believe Ours Is A Strange Love Indeed We Share A Broken Heart It Reaches Across The Distance An End With No Apparent Start We Share A Broken Heart I Can Hear Yours Aching And It Tears Mine Apart We Share A Broken Heart We Hold The Same Dreams Inside We Both Long To Rise Up To The Sky We Hold The Same Dreams Inside I Promise Our Love Will Cause the Whole World To Rise We Hold The Same Dreams Inside Let Me Dance With You Tonight ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Diamond That You Have Always Been I Would Love To See You In Your Natural State Any Color Of Hair Would Go Well With Such A Beautiful Face It Is A Shame That We Can't Be Who We Are All Of The Time The Faces That Judge Us Work So Hard At Keeping Us Confined Your Smile Lets Me Know What You Love About Me All Of The Things That I Love To Remember.. I Still Find You Fascinating Look Away Princess For I Am Falling Out Of My Castle I Don't Mean To Cause Such A Fuss But This Heart Of Mine Is A Great Big Hassle I Find It Hard To Believe Sometimes That I Can Be Free I Find It Impossible To Believe That You Could Ever See Anything In Me I Know You Do Though... So Please Help Me To Breathe Whisper Gently If Your Heart Is Really Mine Kiss Me Softly Then I'll Know That Everything Is Fine The Waiting And The Pain Is All That Rests Between Us Anymore I Can Hardly Stand To See You Standing In The Distance I'll Come Riding Up On My White Horse If You Let Me Know That Love Still Exists Your Talent Overshadows Any Of This My Writings Are Simply Fairy Tales From My Head I Just Have A Little Hope That One Or Two Will Come True Before I Am Dead Come True For Me And You Will Set On Fire Every Word That I Have Ever Said It Will Consume Me And Leave You With The Gold That Is Left So That You May Set Yourself As The Cornerstone Of My Circle As The Diamond That You Have Always Been Please Sparkle In My Eyes Again ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unus Anima Somnium Sometimes A Second Chance Is A Seventh Chance In Disguise I Have Been Struck By You In My Heart As Well As In My Eyes All Of The Pain That I Had Brought Upon Myself Was Leading Me To My Demise The Evening That You Came Back Around Is The Evening That You Saved My Life To Learn Of Grace From Such A Graceful Creature To Learn Of Love From Such A Forgiving Teacher It Is Hard To Wipe This Smile Off Of My Face I Can Still Hear The Guitar Playing Sounds Of Forgotten Times As I Sit Here Deep In Thought Resting In My Place The Ride Around In The Darkness As You Harnessed All Of My Fears Leaves Me With A List Of Things To Improve Over The Span Of My Years To Know That You Did Not Want To Leave My Side Was Worth Any Amount Of Gas Wasted That Night I Missed You So Much Though I Lacked The Actions To Show It I Want You And I Know That You Know It Putting My Emotions Out For All Of The World To See May Blow It That Is A Chance That I Am Taking And I Know It I Need To Set You Down In Words I Need To Free Up My Mind To Let In Some More Of The World You Are A Magnificent Creation A Little Proof For Me That God Exists Funny~Creative~Tough~Weak~Beautiful~Driven~Caring~
Honest Just Being Around You Makes Me Feel Like I Am Blessed So I Leave You With This And Now I Can Finally Get Moving Today I Hope That You Enjoy It Or Maybe Save It For A Rainy Day The Promise That I Made The Other Night Will Never Go Away No Matter Where Your Heart May Lead You This Dude Is Here To Stay ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Long For A Family For A Life All My Own A Few Beautiful Children And You By My Side Such A Wonder I've Never Known Well It Was Such A Struggle To Rise Up Out Of My Hell I Owe You A Beautiful World Whichever Way You Go You Drug Me Up To Heaven By My Nostrils I Hope You Know I Adore You I Admire You I Despised You At One Point But Now I Know You I See You Standing There In Your Spotlight It Must Be Hard To Hold Up That Candle On Such A Long And Lonely Night My Pain Had Turned My Heart As Black As The Asphalt On The Road As The Tires Drove Over Me With Their Heavy Load A Deal Was Made To Take Me To My Home Show Me That You Love Me Dear And We'll Both Take The Path That I Was Shown Or I'll Go In All Alone A Light Bearer Shining A Lonesome Monochrome A Sparkling Diamond I Respect That You Have A Life All Your Own I'll Never Forget The Night That I First Met You I Felt I Had To Say Something Before You Faded To Blue I Told You That You Were Gorgeous In Your Beatles Shirt And Modest Jean Skirt A Hopeless Romantic With Eyes That Were Born To Flirt A Beautiful Dream You Appeared To Be That Night After We Left The Rogue And You Played For Me You Led Me To Bob I Want You To See I Had Barely Heard Of His Name Before That Fateful Eve I'll Give You My Soul You Can Have It For Free I Feel That I Could Be In Love With You Forever Do You Feel Anything For Me? You Asked Me If There Was Anything Else That I Need I Need An Answer So I Know If There Is Still Some Hope Left For Me ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Dream Only To Share A Rose On The Steps Where I Last Saw You To Do A Right For Someone So True I Don't Want To Disappear Unless I Have Too I'd Be Lying If I Said My Life Seems Beautiful Without You A Diamond In The Distance I See Leaving My Eyes Tend To Go Foggy Every Empty Evening The Jealousy Is No Longer Seething All That Remains Is The Good Heart And Its Foolish Dreaming My Stone I Threw At One Underserving Call Me What You Want Too The Stone I Threw Left Only Me Bleeding I Am Happy Now But There Is Still This Empty Feeling Some Say I Should Fill It With Empty Sex For Some Fun For An Evening I Disagree That Just Isn't Me I Think That I Am Only Allowed To Have A Dream I Think That I Am Only Allowed To Have The One Made For Me Though Sometimes I Feel That She May Exist With The Breeze I Feel The Pain Sometimes But I Can Still Believe There Is One Out There Made For Me There Is One Out There That Wants To Shine Her Light On The World With Me There Is One Out There There Has To Be This Dream Must Come True Before I Can Have Any Of My Dreams Before I Want Any Of My Dreams This World IS A Dream Who Wants To Dream With Me? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Seven Ladies To Save Me It's Hard Coming Up With A Reason All That I Know Is That The Feelings Are Within Reason The Distance Was A Good Idea Now I Am Free To Be Me The Passage Of Time Takes Away Another Heart Beat I Owe My Growing To Seven Ladies The First Lady My First Real Friend In This Sun Baked City The Second Misses Led Me To My First True Feelings The Third My Mother She Taught Me How To Stay Strong The Fourth My Father's Soul Mate She Has Always Treated Me As A Son The Fifth Little One Taught Me That Life Is A Reason To Exist The Sixth Loving Gal Feels Like A Sister A Real Person In This Dark Abyss The Seventh Senorita Forced Me To Stand And Led Me To My Dreams Too... Before All Seven I Was Simply.. A Dullard.. A Half-Wit.. A Complete Fool These Are Seven Humans That I Shall Never Forget The First Lady My Friend Has A Heart Very Rare In The West The Second Misses Has A Passion And An Innocence That Put My Heart To The Test The Third My Mother Was Raised In A Hell That I Cannot Imagine The Fourth My Fathers Soul Mate Always Saw Past My Hurt Heart In Famine The Fifth Little One Has The Power To Make The Whole World Smile The Sixth Loving Gal Has Immense Talent And A Passion For Life The Seventh Senorita Lit Up My Nights There Are Really No Words To Describe Such A Beautiful Sight Before All Seven My Life Was Lived In Confusion And Fright These Are Seven Individuals I Highly Respect To The First Lady I Owe My Social Graces To The Second Misses I Owe My Deep Thought To The Third My Mother I Owe My Kind Heart To The Fourth My Fathers Soul Mate I Owe My Work Ethic To The Fifth Little One I Owe My New Soul To The Sixth Loving Gal I Owe My Life To The Seventh Senorita I Owe My New Found Respect For Individuality Thank You You Are Seven Angels In This Devil's Life